What makes Metal Gear Solid 4 so special? It’s unparalleld, multi-layered narrative? The peerless sneaking shenanigans? The myriad of mad Kojima moments? Nope. It’s Snake’s stache, of course. And, inspired by the stealthy pensioner’s final mission and some of the finest face fuzz we’ve ever seen, here’s a selection of gaming’s great taches.
Victor Sullivan, Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune
The tache of a treasure hunter: distinguished and dignified.
Zangief, Street Fighter
SF’s piledriving powerhouse sports
a meaty Short Boxed beard and tache.
Heihachi Mishima, Tekken series
looking mean with his Horseshoe tache.
Niko Bellic, GTA IV
clean tache with slight beard undertones.
Mario Mario, Almost every Nintendo game ever
The world’s most famous portly plumber
proudly wearing his handlebars and where
there’s Mazza…
Luigi Luigi, Luigi’s Mansion, Mario Kart, Super Mario Galaxy
His brother and part time stalker can’t be far
behind. He’s even copied his bro’s stache. Creepy.
Triple H, Smackdown series
The Game in all his spandex glory
showcasing some charming Chops.
Dr. Robotnik (aka Eggman), Sonic the Hedgehog series
Should probably have spent less time on the
tache and more time trying to kill that hateful hog.
Shun Di, Virtua Fighter series
The master of Drunken Kung Fu
and his dapper Van Dyke facial hair.
The End, Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
The geriatric sniper comes complete with that
lovable slaphead tache/beard combo, made famous
by Only Fools’ dear old Uncle Albert. During the war…
Gordon Freeman, Half-Life series
A tasteful tache and beard combo, the
hallmark of men of science everywhere.
Captain Price, Call of Duty 4
The gaffer of the Guille sniper level
goes for an old school Walrus tache.
Good Conscience, Black and White 1 & 2
This mini deity is blessed with
bristles of biblical proportions.
The sixth Colossus, Shadow of the Colossus
OK, more of a beard than a tache. But, when its owner
is 200 feet tall, who’s gonna argue with this entry?
Sam Fisher, Splinter Cell: Double Agent
Sneaking between that fine line of five
o’clock shadow and proper tache and beard.
General Diego, Red Dead Revolver
His level in Rockstar’s Western shooter is a clear homage
to the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. And he comes well
prepared with full gringo grizzle and moustache.
Cortex, Crash Bandicoot series
Another fine pair of Chops. No mad scientist
can truly cackle until he has a bit of face fuzz.
Revolver Ocelot, Metal Gear Solid series
The Gear’s longest surviving baddie. His secret? Back-stabbing,
sharp-shooting and a fine English-style stache, of course.
Old Snake, Metal Gear Solid 4
The legendary mercenary who inspired this tache bash.
We’re sure gonna miss that soup strainer/mullet combo.
And finally…
Ivy, Soulcalibur series
A flimsy excuse to post a photoshopped pic of gaming’s
most provocative pugilist with some face fur? You bet.
Have we missed your fave facial hair-sprouting character? Tell us who you’d add to the list below.
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